There are many, upon many facets to BDSM relationships and exchanges. In my opinion, that’s part of what makes the lifestyle so euphoric; its complexity. BDSM Protocols are at the very top of the list.
Protocols are described as; the official procedure or system of rules governing affairs.
Rules and D&s? No way, right?! Protocols are a little more than simple rules and procedures. They play an integral role in not only the D&s exchange, but the development of a Dominant and submissive relationship.
BDSM Protocols are often and sometimes mixed with BDSM Rituals. Although they may have some similarities and often go hand-in-hand, they are in fact entirely different. The easiest way to separate the two; Protocols are what must be done and Rituals are the manner in which they are done.
I’ll touch on BDSM Rituals a little later in this entry.
I don’t believe it’s any secret that a submissive desires something to be committed to (outside of their Dominant). As I understand it, a submissive will generally yearn for, crave for control and structure. Making Protocols ever prevalent.
There’s quite a bit of beauty and purpose that comes with BDSM Protocols. Not only do they serve as a way for a Dominant to teach and train His submissive as He desires, but they can also be whatever you want them to be. One can make them complex or very simple, further making each exchange unique.
So, how do Protocols improve a D&s exchange?
Well, every Dominant is different. They maintain a certain or specific set of interests. Some similar, but rarely ever the same. A staple for any submissive is in her ability to adapt, follow and mould herself to the Dominant she currently serves. This, these Protocols she adheres to ultimately make every exchange different and unique. Which in turn, makes the relationship they share, their own. It is what only they share, their connection; special.
As mentioned previously, BDSM Protocols should not be confused with BDSM Rituals. They often go hand-in-hand, but are not the same.
Here’s a practical example.
Due to my fetishes, an absolute non-negotiable for me is the way in which a submissive dresses for me each day. She must wear some very specific articles, it is essential for my visual stimulus; most important of all. I outline what these are at the very beginning of an exchange, often before any exchange even begins.
It is clear, it is precise, it is a must; Protocol.
Each day when a submissive I’m engaged in an exchange with gets herself ready, she carefully chooses her attire. Once she has carefully chosen her attire, she puts herself together and dresses accordingly. Once she’s finished, she takes the time to show me how it looks on her, to provoke my senses.
This is the manner in which she follows Protocol, the way she does; Ritual – our Ritual.
You may now be thinking to yourself; so, a Dominant has the same Protocols for every submissive? How is that special or unique?
A Dominant may have some BDSM Protocols that never change. My aforementioned example for instance, is one that never changes, regardless of the submissive. I hold true fetishes and they will never change. Without them, a submissive wouldn’t even exist to me; not on my radar. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s not different or for us to share. There’s one more aspect – the Ritual.
Sure, my Protocol is the same in this instance, but the Ritual, the way in which a submissive fulfills that Protocol is never the same. One submissive will do it this way and another, that way. For this reason, as a Dominant, I appreciate them not only for following Protocol, but the way in which they do it. Because no two people or ways are the same, it still remains unique through Ritual; the experience is always different.
How can BDSM Protocols impact a D&s exchange?
Well, the fact that a Dominant may have some Protocols the same, they certainly have Protocols that change or are new dependent on the submissive they’re in an exchange with. No two people are alike, no two submissives are alike. Thus, what one may be willing to do, another may not and because of this (outside of non-negotiables), a Dominant’s Protocols will change with each submissive and exchange.
Ultimately, Protocols will often lead a Dominant and submissive into the dynamic in which their relationship will form. As we know, no two D&s relationship dynamics are the same and that’s what makes what the Dominant and submissive share, only theirs to share.
BDSM Protocols are integral to every D&s exchange. They help form the dynamic and develop the relationship in which a Dominant and submissive will share. Complex or simple, they are beautiful and unique.
How have Protocols impacted your exchanges?