I think many people who dont know much if anything about BDSM have certain paradigms. Here I want to debunk one of those…
This small, possibly one-sided, conversation is going to be centered around one of my favorite mottoes: “Only the strong shall serve the strong.” and that alone should explain everything but I’m gonna expound on it because I like to make sure I’m understood.
As a submissive, your Dominant has complete control and some believe that means you need to ‘dumb down’ to be that cared for pet. This couldn’t be further from the truth.
There is nothing wrong with laughing if something is funny or smiling if it isn’t. Asking questions for better understanding or discussing a topic with manners, even if it’s to say you disagree. Just remember “It’s not what you say but how you say it.” Good manners will get you everywhere.
As an intelligent woman, you will find that being controlled by someone who appreciates someone more than a doormat is more enjoyable and, might I add ‘freeing’, than someone who reprimands you for having a thought of your own.
A confident Dominant enjoys the mind of their submissive. It can get you into trouble (in a good way). It can allow your Dominant an ability to see into the person you are so they can better lead you down the path you both wish to go. It can fill in those many moments when you aren’t playing because, seriously, one of you will be exhausted after a few hours and, if either of you aren’t passed out due to exhaustion, then you will probably be talking.
That’s what I write about. im a confident man who isn’t intimidated by a strong woman and a woman who feels empowered by her submission. There is no humiliation in intelligence. No need to feel like you are nothing. As a submissive, you are fulfilling your needs as well as theirs and that is as worthwhile as breathing – maybe even more
We’ve heard the sayings “Like attracts like” & “Opposites attract”. The submissive you are will eventually find or be found by the Dominant that suits you. There will be a difference (we already know the obvious) and the way I define that in a perfect scenario is that the Dominant is stronger mentally, physically, and emotionally than the submissive. An intelligent, confident Dominant will be attracted to the same in a submissive. This is not to say they are infallible because, as much as a submissiv want there owner to be Superman, im as a Dominant is still a human , makes mistakes and still i can nurture you from the secret desires you want but society has shackled us into believing is wrong, to the submissive who trusts the Dominant to care for you as you break through those restraints.
Communicating (a word you will hear me speak of often) is the key. Expressing your thoughts will help the Dominant to decide how best to get you to enjoy the release of your fears. Letting them know the things you wish to explore as well as what you refuse to do (hard limits) will help to develop trust and growth – in both of you.
Hiding or playing stupid will lead – with an intelligent Dominant – to frustration and heartache as you grow further apart. So embrace your keen mind and seek a Dominant who will enjoy you for being you. In that, you shall discover how to fly.