4 Ways to Improve Dominance
Confidence; a Dominant should start here. Confidence is a crucial piece of the puzzle for a Dominant to be great. Reaching a point of comfortability is good, but could essentially mean nothing if one’s confidence in their ability isn’t present.
A submissive needs and desires control – a leader. If a Dominant hesitates or is unsure of Himself, His submissive will often sense this and even doubt Him. Ultimately, even unknowingly undermine His Superiority – His Dominance.
It’s important to be aware of this and as a Dominant, execute everything with conviction. If a Dominant is doing something they haven’t yet done, take the time to think about it, fantasize about it thoroughly, build oneself up before it’s execution so that there is clarity of the mind and process.
Understanding; every individual is different, which means, every Dominant is different. A submissive is groomed to adapt herself to a Dominant’s ways, needs, desires, and requirements. Having that said, a submissive may become accustomed to a certain way of doing things that may not be aligned with a new Dominant’s structure.
This is perfectly fine (provided she has the ability to adjust to the new). A Dominant must take the time to understand this as fact. A way to achieve this? Don’t have a preconceived notion, a Dominant should view every submissive as ‘new’ – new to Him.
Training, a period of consideration can often allow for a Dominant to take the necessary time He needs to evaluate a submissive and understand her current ways, align her to His and mold her to Him.
Explanation; one of the largest mistakes a Dominant can make is not explaining Himself. Assuming a submissive understands what He’s doing and what He’s requesting. This generally happens because, He may assume simply because they’re a submissive, they should know or that, because He’s a Dominant, He needs not explain Himself.
A submissive’s role is to follow, not lead. So no, a submissive generally doesn’t draw assumptions or conclusions. They’re groomed to being told, a Dominant needs to tell them – why.
I can think of few times where a submissive will feel more lost and confused than those in which she hasn’t a clue as to why things are happening the way they are and what lessons are supposed to be taken.
There are certainly times a Dominant won’t provide an immediate explanation as to why He has made certain choices or requests. Doing so can sometimes be good for teaching, training and more importantly, testing a submissive’s commitment to Him. However, when it’s all said and done, the power of explanation is integral to a submissive’s development and success.
Aftercare; I almost can’t believe I have to include this as it should be priority one, but I do. Many have this large notion that sub-drop is this major event, so when it happens, they’ll see it happening. That’s probably due to the fact that if you were to look it up, it’s often described as this catastrophic event. No.
Sub-drop is often very subtle. A submissive releases many endorphins when sessions that include significant pressure upon her body occur. When it comes to an end, the body, the mind, and emotion, often don’t know what to do. It is in this state that a submissive can experience a significant sense of being alone, even… empty.
A common mistake a Dominant will make is assuming that because His submissive wants to, even enjoys feeling used or abused during a session that she’ll be okay. No. A submissive may enjoy feeling this way during play sessions, even outside of them as well. However, a human being has no control over the chemical composition and balance of their body – endorphins.
Clearly, I will never experience this. However, I imagine it comparable to an adrenaline dump. If a Dominant has ever been in a fight or in a car accident or any other significant event that produces high amounts of adrenaline, then they’ve certainly experienced the dump that follows. The feeling is sheer exhaustion, confusion… vulnerability.
Truly, a Dominant doesn’t need to do much to avoid this from happening to His submissive. There’s no need to pamper your submissive for hours on end and cater to her every need. Often, this can be prevented by simply laying with her, holding her, talking with her and providing a sense of comfort as she returns to ‘reality’. Not to mention, the display in appreciation a Dominant should carry for what she endures for Him.
Honestly, everyone is different, but if I was going to provide a short ‘blueprint’ for success, for one to start on their path to becoming a great Dominant and wanted to improve Dominance overall. This would be it.
My four very simple ways to improve Dominance, that one can implement almost immediately.