The motivation

Some dominants don’t take the time to think about it, ” whats my internal motivation” to be a Master and a dominant.
when you begin to understand your true motivations for being a Master, you can create a BDSM relationship that works best for your needs, while also training a submissive in the most effective way and also keeping her safe and happy.


Need for Control
Most common to those who want to be a dominant in a BDSM relationship is a need for control. Whether this is a reflection of a lack of control in a dominant’s inner landscape, or not, that’s something for a therapist to decide. What is clear is that there are some people who don’t like to give up control, while there are others who do. A person who wants to continue to be in control will work well as a Master , as they are then in the position where the sub has given them all the control in the relationship. But with this control comes responsibility. The Master needs to exert control over the submissive, not just desire that the submissive gives the control to them.
The Protective Trainer


There are also some dominants that like to protect their submissive, instead of necessarily hurting them or controlling them. This might be a Master  that looks at a submissive as someone who needs to be taught new things and new skills. They are more interested in teaching and molding a submissive into the perfect submissive for me as a owner. This sort of dominant is interested in creating the image they see in their head, and want to do so as it’s what’s best for the submissiv. For them, this training is an act of love and respect for the submissive.

The Desire to Inflict Pain

Of course, the most stereotypical Master is the one that simply likes to give pain to the submissive. They genuinely like to see another person in pain, and this might be their only reason for being in the BDSM world. While there is nothing inherently wrong with wanting this sort of expression, the dominant is going to have to be choosy in who they select for a submissive. To make this sort of internal motivation work in the real world, the submissive also needs to be someone who enjoys receiving pain.

Why Does It Matter?

For some, the idea of looking at their internal motivations might not seem necessary. They just like what they like. At the same time, a dominant who is fully aware of their motivations is one that can step into a more authentic role as a Master. Instead of just playing at being a dominant, in the ways that they’ve seen done in movies and books, the dominant who understands their internal drive will be able to create a BDSM relationship that works best for them.
A dominant that is in tune with their needs is not only going to be a happier dominant, but their passion for what they have to teach their slave will extend into a more productive relationship. Each training session will be exciting, instead of a chore. And the submissive will benefit from being with a dominant who knows what they want.
i personally don’t think it is just one of the options above that gives me the motivation as a dominant, as most Things in life it is the mixtures that create the most exating Picture.
I always say that a good dominant always will find the good submissiv and the good submissive always get what she deserve.
This makes it even more important for me as a dominant to really know my internal motivation.

One thought on “The motivation

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  1. This is very fascinating and while I am still finding my ground on fetlife and the community I feel I am sitting at both ends of the spectrum on either I am uber dominating or being dommed.


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