Within this lifestyle there are unfortunately many dangers, there are people out there using the BDSM lifestyle as a way to abuse or use individuals under an umbrella of acceptance. Within each situation there are warning signs that we see, unfortunately sometimes we do not see these warning signs until it is too late. There are many people that say they are a Dominant are not, instead they are users, abusers, predators, wannabees, bullies, and manipulators. This article is designed to help people understand what a warning sign or red flag is, and hopefully prevent someone from getting hurt.
Some people think that just because they have read all the books and watched all the movies that they are instant Dominants; Instant Dominant…Just Add Water, and Shake Well. Just because he has a few floggers doesn’t mean they know how to use them or that they are a Dominant of any form. Just because someone orders you around or attempts to control your life doesn’t mean they are a Dominant. Being a Dominant is a understanding of infinite strengths and weaknesses combined together with all the normal human caristics. It takes a lifetime of learning and growing to be a Dominant, and those that believe otherwise may not have a true grasp of the concept. Even as one is able to claim the title of Dominant or Master, one is still learning, the learning is a never ending road that allows us to travel into the exciting and new dimensions of this adventure called BDSM.
As a Dominant myself I have come to understand that every Dominant does things in a different manner, and that just because what they do is different from what I do, it doesn’t make what they do wrong, it just makes it different. However there is a difference between just being different and being Dangerous.
I also often say that nobody is born Dominant, Dominant is the character that develops over time by Learning, Listining and Starting to be Dominant over yourself long before trying to be Dominant over another person.
Domination is self-control ,not controling another person.
Domination is not how good you whip, it is how good you are without the whip.
Domination is not about limiting another person , it is how much you free her.
Domination is not about my fantasies, it is the reality of responsibility.
Domination is to be a Gentleman, not always being a gentle man.
Domination is protection, not fear.