The ability to understand the other person is what allows one to take control. This is true in all aspects of life. understanding her psychological needs is crucial.
I see so many who make the statement about getting control of the heart and you can control all. Unfortunately for those who buy into this, I found it to be not true. My experience is that if you can penetrate a sub at a deep level, right down to her core, then you can take over all of her submission.
For this to take place, one must be able to psychologically take control. Again, any meathead can use fear as a tactic. This is shallow and ineffective. Psychological control means understanding what the submissive is seeking. What does she get out of her submission and service to you? What are her fears? Where does she feel vulnerable? What does she want? Those who can answer these questions have a chance of reaching the true depths of this experience. Sadly, few have any clue about these subjects.
Growth is an important factor in the BDSM relationship. Dominats who do not continually focus upon this area are bound to lose a submissive. This is one of her strongest needs even though she might term it something different. A Master’s duty is to take a person, gain her trust to the degree she gives all over, and help foster her along a path which leads to her fulfillment and happiness.
A fulfilled submissive is one who has reached the peak of her existence.
For a submissive to continually grow, that means the dominant one also must focus attention on my own growth. Sadly, most prefer to live by the rule “do as I say, not as I do”. This does not work. If you want your submissive to be the best she can be, that is only possible because you became the best Master I could be.
While I touched upon the psychological aspects of things, this is only the tip of the iceberg. The psychology field is full of materials that go into great detail about this important subject. As I always say beeing a True Dominate is always about Learning and grow stronger togheter With Your submissive.
True domination is about a lot more than whips and chains…..far more !