The respect

Do you show respect? This is a question that is only answered by looking at ones actions. Sadly, my only conclusion is that most do not have respect. Instead, they say one thing and do just the opposite, respect is one of the greatest expressions of love and one of the most essential things in a BDSM relationship.
Telling me you respect me and acting in accordance to that ideal are two entirely different matters. Those who bridge the two are those worthy of being owned.

I come across so many who are absolutely don`t understand the meaning of respect.
Something as a Dominant can never be learned to the submissive and the key is respect, as I as a Dominant work hard to maintaine my respect in any value of life, the fall is even greater when the submissive is not aible of showing the same respect to me as a Dominant.
The typical submissive how looses out on respect, is usually the same once who want, demands and need to get the same respect, this is some of lifes biggest Paradox.
To me who holds respect so highly it is a total disaster when a submissive fails on such a key point in a good Bdsm relationship.
Failing on respect might be a sign that the submissive isn`t worth my respect.

Does this sound harsh? Absolutely. But this is a matter that I feel very strongly about.  There is little that happens in the imagery on the web that has to do with BDSM. Pictures of whips and chains are nice; however they do little to tell the real story of what a BDSM relationship is all about

A relationship is an interaction between two people. It is that simple. The feelings that we have in a particular relationship is what distinguishes it from other. BDSM is no different. the goal is to have a  deep emotional connections to some  build on sane safe and consenual dependence where respect, trust, honesty and communication is the bricks and glu that keep the circle glowing.
My understanding of gaining something starts with what you are giving…..
I have never in my life found People who demands something they themself are not willing to give.
Thats why the common respect is crusial.
If the respect is broken, there is often no way back….
Beacuse respect is in the core of who we are, its nothing I as a Dominant can demand of my submissive, its nothing I can spank or punish her to understand….
Saying those Words as a Dominant you proberly figuerd out that respect is not something I demand, it is something I give and get in Return with no questions.

Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.


That being said, part of the deal is to position oneself so as to make the other person proud. While this might sound a bit superficial, there is a methodology which will show how deep this can go. The actions one takes is what reveals his or her true feelings towards another. Of course, this can often be predicated upon the actions the other person took. Everything we do has consequences. It is important to remember this fact. Monitoring our behaviors help to create positive results.


Being involved in a relationship, or more specifically, a Bdsm relationship, entails showing respect for one and other. This means one will need to alter behavior so as to act in an appropriate manner. In other words, a submissve needs to focus upon doing those things that will make me proud of her. Acting to the contrary tells me that she lacks the respect for not only me, but even herself.

In a relationship and even more importent in a BDSM relationship a submissive is measured in how she is behaving in a way that shows the proper respect for me as a  Dominant… I as a Dominant show my submissive the same respect to her in any aspect of my life……. From the actions that I have witnessed over the years, I will say that is a negative. Many simply behave pathetically when in the presence of others.
How we act in circumstances is something that we can control. While factors such as hight and eye color are outside our realm of influence, what we say and do in front of others is not. Focusing on behaving in a respectful manner is of extreme importance. It is the actions that show how you feel a lot more than the words that you say.

Some believe that simple calling one Owner or Daddy is being respectful. That is not respect, that is words. However, this fails to show any respect whatsoever. Hell, all the online fakes and wannabe submissives easly can say the words, but words and action is  not the same, and the biggest differnce in action and words are in those who really don`t understand the meaning of respect.
Action always prof more then words……thats just the same for me as a Dominant and a submissive.

What shows respect? To answer this, I will tell you to look at the total package from outside of yourself. Simply, how do you think others will view you in different settings? Once you see that, is that is something that I as a Dominante will be proud of? Or, are you an embarrassment of the highest degree? While it might be difficult, I would urge you to be honest. Your relationship is riding upon this very thing.

A submissive who has respect for her Dominant will do everything in her power to ensure that her “presentation” in front of others is in top form. She will dress appropriately. Her body will be cleaned and well maintained. Her every intention is to have him be able to tell anyone “she is mine”.
And the most importent thing she will be PROUD of being mine !

This is equally true for me as a Dominant, I should live and breath for the feeling when she makes me proud and in all my action I should show her how proud I am of her.
I share the same rules as my submissive in giving her what she needs, the biggest disepointment is that she as a Submissive dosen`t do the same in all aspects.
So many think that being dominant entitles them to act like total assholes. That is not being dominant, that is being an asshole. There is a major difference. Someone acting like the later will not garner respect from anyone. Certainly, this will not come from a submissive who is worth a damn. Those who have healthy self-confidence will not want to associate with a looser…Even that is the same for a Dominant and a submissive.


One thought on “The respect

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  1. Respect is a given in a DS Relationship I agree however, I think when communication isnt clear what occurs is bad behaviour because in my experience I feel left out and ignored like I really not important enough to be included in their real lives.

    Hard to explain what I am trying to day as it is private however there are I want to scream until I Am hoarse.

    I am too old and my life has always been solo and that is enough for me to get very angry because I am just as important so why do I feel that they dont feel that I would like them or him or whatever to grow as well.

    So I raise my voice to get heard, i then am so loud because Not once that bei g present by neing brave just like I have been i get angry because I lost my divorse . I lost 10 fucking years and not once have I heard that I make a difference to anyones life..

    Leaves me feeling alone and not really significant in anyones life.

    Hard to explain


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