There are really two kind of people when it comes to relationships and it shows even more in a BDSM relationship, where the dynamic between the two parties are so relavant and crucial.
Those that give, and those that take. Now this isn’t always a bad thing. It’s okay for one person in the relationship to be more of a giver and one to be more of a taker I`ve even assert that it is a advantage to the relationship where there is this differnce.
Both the givers and the takers have their pros and cons, and like I said earlier, it’s not necessarily a bad thing to be one or the other in a relationship. acknowledge these things and work on them with your partner so that you can advance on in the relationship. In order for the relationship to develop, both the giver and the taker will need to work on certain things.
The best advice I can give is :
To learn from each other and grow together 🙂
This will create a exciting dynamic , and this dynamic will create a bound of understanding between me as a Dominant and my submissive.
Dominants and submissives are equals. Period. No ifs, ands or buts about it.
But still we are differnt, and this differnce creates the dynamics, the dynamics thats so crusial for a good BDSM relationship.
Just because I am the Dominant partner does not dismiss the fact that my submissive is on equal footing with me. It’s a matter of the relationship and respect for her.
However you call the bond between a Dominant and a submissive, there exists a very real and breathing relationship between two people. And in the D/s relationship it takes two types of people to make a D/s relationship work correctly, a Dominant and a submissive. The typical giver and the typical taker among many other things.
It does go beyond just needing a Dominant and a submissive in a D/s relationship to make equals. Each person in whatever type of relationship you have with anyone you are involved with has a set of expectations, a set of rules and a set of priorities we recognize about each other.
The D/s relationship is no different. Now I have heard the argument, “I am the Dominant, so I set the rules, the expectations and the priorities”. Well good for you, don’t all of us Dominants do that? Yes, but only the foolish don’t realize we can only set these rules and expectations and priorities to a partner who as an equal has her own set of rules, expectations and priorities her needs.
As much as I as a Dominant expects a submissive to follow her concepts of rules, expectations and priorities, a Dominant must be willing to do likewise for a submissive. Both partners need something within a relationship. Rules and protocol for me as a Dominant is very important.
A submissive who is treated as an equal instead of a lesser being is more apt to be more self-assured, she will be stronger ,she will grow and develop even more , thats the greatest goal for me as a Dominant.
Charish the difference as a giver and a taker, build a foundation around that we are equal but different and most importently
Communicate and make the difference our common strenght in the relationship.
Ahhh this BDSM world is amazing !