Commitment- one of the strongest word`s I can think of.
Commitment is a two way street and true commitment has the Power to strengthen both me as a Dominant and my submissive.
This is exactly what is established from the beginning by many in the Master/slave, Dominant/submissive lifestyle. I am talking about a 24/7 relationship of course, one which is beyond role playing, beyond the occasional, maybe once-a-week BDSM activity. Living the day in and day out of this lifestyle define who we are and who I am as a Dominant, But the fundation of a Bdsm relationships often begins with the same commitment ideals as a vanilla realationship, but I as a Dominant want something more, something deeper, something called commitment.
I Always says that there of course can be a lot of love also in a good Vanilla relationship, but a healty BDSM relationship takses both the the love and The commitment to another Level.
And while there certainly are those in the BDSM lifestyle that enjoy play for physical gratification only, there are many more who prefer a bonded, fulfilling, and committed relationship, just as many vanilla married couples do. In fact, some research shows that break ups are less frequent in power exchange relationships than in vanilla, married couples.
So where does the difference between relationships in each lifestyle lay? I believe it is in the fact that honesty self-expression, and forthrightness are generally valued in serious BDSM relationships. This is not to say everyone in this lifestyle feels this way, as we well know there are exceptions to every rule, but in my own expirience I have found that a majority of partners in a power exchange relationship value this ideology in their relationship. For many, this begins on day one.
It is common for these relationships to begin with a negotiation where each partner is able to establish their needs, limitations, and obligations for one another, resulting in a set of rules and protocol. Rules are discussed and compromised upon, with each party openly discussing what they want and need out of their relationship. Great care is taken in the construction of each provision because I am true to myself and this part of the relationship is very important, because this start will be a set up for the commitment that makes this lifestyle so much more then just having a partner, lover or spouse.
This acknowledgement of fluidity empowers each of the partner to regularly speak up for themselves and make changes to the relationship as needed, up to or including the end of the relationship if that is what is best. These relationships are not failures, because each partner fulfilled their commitment to one another, and ensured that the people in the relationship remain more important than the relationship itself.
The great leaning of BDSM, I am the Dominant I am because of my life expiriences, my submissive is the girl she is because of her life expiriences.
Even the failed relationships will learn you more about commitment, a strange paradox I have to say.
And while sexuality is certainly an element in mine BDSM relationships,But a common commitment can also note that the strength all the aspects of the relationship like : a sense of stability which I believe comes from those set and established rules created in the start of the relationship. Master/Dom and slave/submissive both have a clear understanding of the expectations, desires, demands, and requirements for one another.
This Clear settings have I expirienced will clearify the commitment.
The driving force for a successful relationship ( Vanilla or BDSM ), of course, is the people themselves, and while there are certainly exceptions, my experiences in the lifestyle lead me to believe that BDSM relationships tend to be more stable, more adaptable, and longer lasting than those in the general population, due in no small part to these principles, approaches, attitudes, clearity and of course The Commitment !