I have been reading over 100s of personal growth books in my life.Focusing on self-improvement has presented many opportunities in my life—and learning and knowledge allways is a winning formula.
But from reading and getting the knowledge you have to put the new knowledge in order for things to change in your life, in order to get where you want to be, you have to grow into the person who is ready for that change. Personal development is vital to your success on a personal Level , but surely allso as a Domiant.
I have blogged alot about development in BDSM and now , my blog is about the growth.
I am a believer that we need to grow to move forward. BDSM is all about growth.
The growth I as a Dominant and my submissive together achive.
We enter this way of life knowing little yet learn and expand as we go along. The journey typically starts with our kinks (which most likely will expand over time) before extending with the realization that BDSM offers the opportunity to live life at a higher level. What I mean by this is that true BDSM people will hold themselves to a higher standard than the rest of society ( I think). This only makes sense when you realize the depth and risk associated with true power exchange. A person who takes this from another needs to be responsible with that power. It is something that the average person does not have to deal with in his relationship. Here I as a Dominant is fully in charge and needs to direct things. I cannot absolve myself of the leadership position.
To cover some of the basic areas that growth is required, I will start with mental. Under mental, I am referring to knowledge. What is I as a Dominant doing to expand my knowledge base in all areas? Am I sitting around watching television all day long or does I at least pick up a book once in a while? Does I visit different websites to learn about different things? Are there hobbies I engages upon which expand my knowledge base and skills? Am I studying for something that will improve my future, and through that, also improve my submissives future? And finally, doesI make it this way of life and his Domination a personal study? Too many seem to think, as I mentioned earlier in my blog that someone is born Dominant and, that having the quality of domination is enough. Few realize that to truly Dominant, one needs to make it a lifelong study.
I read somewhere that the blind never can lead the deaf…and this is so true if a Dominant never spend any time in expanding the knowledge, I think it is only Wannabe Dominants who lean to fact that they are born Dominant and therefor have the skill to lead a submissive.
This is not true, this is actually “Dangerous” for a submissive to lean towards , because it is all a house of cards.
With no knowledge, you can never lead !
Another area where growth is required is in regard to ones skills. Focusing upon BDSM solely, for a moment, I will state that any Dominant who is not expanding his abilities is going to lose those the submissive that are under his control. A submissive need to grow also and that comes, in part, by his ability to push her further. Naturally, I need to have the ability in a particular area before I can push her. Sadly, I belive a great many BDSM relationship end simply because the submissive outgrew the Dominant. The submissive progressed while he sat back and felt it his place to be waited upon. He deferred to her on all the effort while giving none himself. Well, I have news for you, this is not a choice. As a Dominant, it is my responsibility to expand and grow because my submissive is (or will) be dependent upon that. Again, this is not a choice.
In many ways in a BDSM realtionship I as a Dominant is in charge allso for my submissive to grow, and never stop her from getting information seeking verious sites and reading blogs.
Because I am a beliver that growth is constant and a good BDSM relationship and a real Dominant spend alot of time growing and expanding this will lead to my submissive will devlop on the same path as mine.