When starting out in D/s, there are many things, situations and activities that are discussed. Talking can only take you so far. For so many aspects of D/s, you really can’t get a grasp of it totally until you have actually experienced it. The feelings involved are definitely one of those aspects. I can discuss this With my submissive, about how intense feelings can become. About how intense being together in this manor can be. About how when things perfectly line up, and you find the “one” for you, how intense the feelings for each other can be. Until they begin to actually experience it, and get away from just talking about it, it is very hard for a submissive to really comprehend how it will be.
Some may have never been in a position to have feelings like this before. They may have never allowed themselves to be open enough to feel like this before. Maybe they have wanted it, but they have never found the right person to be able to give them what they really need, enabling them to open up and feel like this. Whatever the case, once it happens, it is hard to prepare for it before you begin to have these intense feelings for your partner. It can catch many people off guard. In reality, it can be so different than anything they have felt before, that what they are feeling and experiencing in their mind scares the hell out of them. They are afraid of what they are feeling and want to run and hide. There is a sense of being too vulnerable. There is a sense of being too exposed. There is a sense of nothing good can come of this, and that the only possible ending to it is being hurt. Most of the time this is because of past experience with a partner, or not having been through this before, and feeling so open that they just can’t deal with it.
This is where trust and open communication become so vitally important. It is a must to be able to talk this through with your partner. I feel I have to show my sub that it is ok to feel this way. It is natural for these feelings to develop. Most importantly, that I am in no way here to hurt you or cause you any psychological or emotional damage. Trust is developed over time. A person can’t demand it. It is over time that you will see that my actions back up my words. That I am here to care for you, protect you, and guide you to what is best for you. It serves me no purpose to take you down a road of destruction. I am here to show you the way to new and better things. I am here to show you how great this can be. I am here to help you see and feel things in a way you never thought you could, or even knew you could.
Most people that are afraid of what they are feeling do so because it is new, and they don’t understand it. Yet, deep down they do like what they are feeling and know that it is something very special. A door has been opened for them to a whole new world. A world that maybe they have been searching for their entire lives. We all get in our comfort zone, and can be afraid to step out of it. But, only in stepping out of it and into new territory can we grow and progress. If you stand still, you can’t move forward…you become static…and you will never go anywhere other than where you are right now. Is that what you really want? Is that what you really want to settle for being? I don’t think so! I think a sub wants to be able to step through that door and have what is waiting on the other side. With some care, love and reassurance, she can see how great things can be. That her fears may have been a bit over-thought.
It is hard to try and to look for something that may not exist, which would cause anyone to lose hope. But when you do find it…when you find that special person and those special feelings…even if it is scary, aren’t you glad you have a guiding hand to hold onto to show you the way. A hand that will protect you the best it can and be there for you. One that wants nothing but to make this adventure the best it can be. You may be frightened…scared…afraid…or even terrified. I think the only thing worse than that is the thought of giving it up when it’s everything you have ever wanted. Finding what you have always wanted and needed, only to give up and walk away because it seems scary to you? To me that is more frightening than facing the feelings, accepting them, and taking a chance on a wonderful and beautiful relationship.
Don’t be afraid! Here is my hand. Take it in yours! Hold onto me and together we can face this journey. Together we can make it everything we have ever wanted. All you have to do is let me show you the way. Let me show you that your trust in me is worth every once you have. I won’t let you down!