In BDSM as in all other aspects in a relationships there are many formes of communication.
Communication and intimacy involve sharing and respecting each other’s personal thoughts and feelings. Commitment and Security. In order to create a strong relationship, both partners need to be committed and feel secure.
They say a Picture can tell you a million Words, in this featured Picture also the text give away the importance of eye contact.
As I have already have written earlier here on my blog , communication in BDSM is key.
And not only the verbal communication thats extremly important in any relationship.
The power of eye contact is one of the most important skills you can develop. Eye contact informs the way others view us and affects all types of relationships, from those in the workplace to close friendships and maybe especially in a BDSM relationship. So, why does the way we look (or don’t look) at others influence our perceptions to such as strong degree? It turns out that this is a uniquely human phenomenon.
Anthropologists theorize that the importance of eye contact stems from something called the “cooperative eye hypothesis.” Humans can tell what other humans are thinking and feeling based on the direction of our eyes. This is because the whites of our eyes are much larger than other primates, making it easy to see where our eyes point. In contrast, other primates use the direction of the head to determine what others are focused on.
Eye contact with a stranger can achive so many things; boldness/confidence, attraction, strenght, flirtyness or even “Come closer”… Many people cannot maintain eye contact because they lack confidence or they find it just too intense emotionally.
Eye contact with a partner can offer direct access to their mind and no doubt is a Clear way to commincate. Over dinner, I like to silently stare intensely into the eyes of a women like a hungry wolf surveying his prey, knowing that my “stare” is making her react on a non verbal form of communication.. Knowing how to push the invisible buttons is most of the fun.
By maintaining eye contact with her alone and not look after other beautiful women passing by in public conveys that you don’t desire other women and you deeply desire her alone. That is a very powerful emotional and sexual signal to send.
As a couple, the silent signals we exchange through eye contact says so much about the strength of their connection as a couple even when apart – “It’s time to leave this party”, “Meet me in the powder room in 3 minutes”, “Come closer”, “Come fuck me”…
There is something deeply primal and deeply intimate about looking into the eyes of a partner during sex and also offcourse under BDSM play, It is like looking into their soul. That is a very powerful connection during a deeply intimate act. I want her to see how I am craving her and let my “read” her eyes just like she is Reading my eyes. I want to see every single facial expression as I touch her body. I want her to see my passion and desire for her. Most importantly, I want to be looking deep into her eyes at climax.
Another example is eye contact during a blow job, every man or Dominant knows how powerfull eye contact is.
There is a big difference in a submissive sucking my cock who at the same time look my deep in the eyes, I know it`s just the same the other way around.
If i lick my submissive she feels evry inch of my tounge even better if she at the same time are looking at the passion in my eyes.
There is a big difference in fucking your submissive while looking in her eyes, licking her or even undressing her.
I do mean the secret of good sex is how you connect, and eyes are there the most important tool.
As a Dominant I can over time give orders and commandos to my submissive only with the expretion in my eyes, and quess what, the submissive is sending the same signals to us Dominant.
BDSM without connection is like a fish without water , it`s not just important, it is essential.
A common punishment in BDSM might be to tell your submissive to not have the chance to see a Dominant in the eyes, maybe give her the order to look in to the floor.
This is always powerful because both knows about the power of commincate with the eyes.
If you as a Domiant uses this technic on your submissive, it is crusial that I as a Dominant never look away from my submissive or takes my eyes from her.
I can garantee that she feels every second of your eyes staring down on her.
I never do breathplay without explaing to my submissive how important it is to give the submissive the information to look deep into my eyes at the same time, I can also here garantee both of you a whole other expirience.
Eye contact during spanking is close to impossible ( beside if you spank the submissive from infront), but most likely I spank my submissive from behind.
Also in this situastion eye contact is important, but then after you have spanked your submissive.
I say as a technic for Domiant to move around alot during play, this gives you as a Domiant the opportunity to see the reaction from her body, but also give me a Domiant the possibility to look into her eyes how the submissive is reacting.
In aftercare eye contact is even more important then in those few examples I just wrote as examples.
In aftercare I will assert that eyes, Your voice as a Domiant and what you do is essential.
But once again it all starts With your eyes….The gateway to the soul !