The Pain

Pain can be a good thing.

Once the pain begins, the endorphins rush into the bloodstream – of both the one inflicting pain and the one receiving it. Pain is therefor creating a Whole special bond between me and my slave/sub.
The effect of giving pain to someone I resepct and honor is hard to set the right Words to.
Building up pain tolerance is a process is sometimes key, because I think building up pain tolerance is not just a slave/submissives job, in fact is quite the oppsite, I as a Dominant can toghether With my slave/submissive build pain tolerance, make her feel it hurts so good.

Let’s talk now about why it’s a good idea to build up your pain tolerance. First of all, when you have a longer pain tolerance, my slave/submissive can have longer session with me, which is always a good thing. I will be able to do more for/to her without she needing a break or I need to stop the scene for a pause and then have to start all over again in the ride of the endorphine rush. Also, the more pain tolerance she has, the more easily she will be able to slip into subspace, which is never a bad thing – that floaty feeling is something that every slave/ submissive wants, but needs to be ready their body for.
But not all slaves/submissives are created alike. Though some might consider thereself to be a masochist, that doesn’t mean pain is easy to take. For others , pain is so simple for them that they can’t wait for more. Depending on where you’re at, you as a submissive might need different strategies for training to take on more pain. A good place to begin is for me as a Dominant to come up with a target for the number of paddles, lashes, etc. that you should be able to take. Then, they I  just have to test you to see how close you are to that eventual goal. This way I can see just how close you are to getting you to the goal. And she can have a clear idea of how your progress can be measured – and how much more pain you need to learn to take.
The variation of the power I put in to the lashes, paddles is also important.
If I give 10 out of 10 all the time there is no room for any improvment.
I as a Dominant is responsible that inflicting pain and also training my slave/submissive to take more pain is mesurable.
Because if we masure our goals , than they are easy to understand.
And if it is possible to masure the pain, it is also possible to reward my slave/submissive.

To help encourage the pain process, rewards are always a good way to develop my slave/submissive to find the beauty in taking even more pain.

But where I as a Domiant gives rewards, there is also punishments.
Punishments is for my slave/submissive to understand if for instance  my slave/submissive in the middle of the scene walks away, turns, leave the room  during a scene where I are in the middel of the process of giving her the loving feeling of pain, This behavior is not acceptable and therefor must be punished.
As I have stated before, I only hurt those I love.
Therefor it is extremly important that my slave/submissive understand the purpose of reward and punishment.
I never seek and search for reasons to punish, I seek and search for the responsibility to develop my slave/ submissive.

Rewards might include orgasms and privileges for particularly good sessions, while punishments might be deprivation of orgasms and for instance inflicting pain where I know it stings the most.
In most cases, pain tolerance can be build up through slow and steady progression. This means that each time the pain is applied during a session, I might add more and push my slave/submissive further than she think we can go. With practice and persistence, the slave/submissive will eventually be able to take the pain and then they will be able to take more and more.
In the beginning, however, it might be difficult, so I  need to stop to rest for a bit to see if the slave/submissive can recover enough to start again during the same session
These pauses is not the same as aftercare by far, this is Natural pauses for her to feel how high she went on the scale of endorphins rush and for her to feel the adrenaline rush working thru out her body and mind.
I have stated before that pauses is maybe the most efficent tool to use in any situation With my slave/submissive.
Because its when the rain stops you can actualy feel that you`re wet. And just the same effect is it on endorphins and adrenaline rush….you feel it strongest and most sincere when the pain stops and there is a pause.
Pain tolerance is something I and my slave/submissive is building together, this is not me as a Domiant just hitting more and harder for that purpose alone.
This is the core of Development and rewarding my slave/submissive to Reach other Levels than she ever tought she would reach. This is the feeling I want to give my slave/submissive that exploration in pain is some of the most freeing feeling in the world.

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The punishment

I believe many people in the lifestyle confuse discipline and punishment. Discipline is training that corrects. It molds, empowers and enhances a person for the better. Punishment comes when there are consequences set for the submissive when she displeases me as a Dominant, breaks rules, and or misbehaves.
Discipline is a teaching relationship that goes on between me as a Dominant and my submissive. It is to mold my submissive into what I as Dominant not only wants, but feels will improve my submissive. Because if she is improved she will obviously be a better submissive and person.
To me discipline is the day-to-day structure established for my submissive by me, whose goal is to teach, guide, and mold my submissive how to live to “serve” me better and also enhance my submissive as a person. The goal of discipline is eventually self-discipline or self-regulation. As I have pointed out many times I can’t baby-sit submissives 24/7. So  the rules will help her out to be a better submissive, and therefore it is crucial the rules and the respect for me as a Dominant always are followed. And these rules and my present will also help my submissive and keep her motivated purely by the wish to please and follow the rules I as a Dominant has given her.
Not only the rules but also her behavior. This will gradually but certainly mold her behavior, way of living, thinking and believing becomes self-discipline.
Discipline does not always carry with it punishment. Discipline can be as simple as a look or gesture and just saying “no, no thats not the way to behave”. Discipline is the reinforcement of behavior that makes it easier for her to understand that I am her Dominant. It is the framework where a submissive resides.

Sometimes and most often the punishment that exists separately from discipline. The two aren’t linked together, but in certain instances they coincide.

First off punishment is not to be confused with S&M play. S&M is for “enjoyment” – by definition, “play” is typically enjoyed by one or both parties. Therefore if punishments are consequences of violating rules or even worse acting or showing no respect for me as a Dominant, then punishment should be cold, direct ,to the point, and not enjoyable by my submissive. In most cases I as a Dominant don`t enjoy it either. But nothing upset me as a  Dominant then rules or respect are broken.
Conversely I as a Dominant will never abuse the philosophy behind what a punishment is and what it represents. If I want to play , then I play, but I never make up something to punish my submissive.
Punishment is something my submissive should want to avoid. There are many that believe a submissive will “purposely” act out to get punished. There are several different reasons why a submissive may act out on purpose.  Often times they do not know how to communicate their needs from me as her Dominant.
A punishment should clearly identify what was done wrong, what can be done to correct it, and why the infraction displeased me as a Dominant. It is very important that it is clearly identify the means in which the punishment is to be carried out, then it should be handled as soon as possible. If the punishment is too soft, it might not help my submissive learn from the infraction and might create confusion. If the punishment is too hard, my submissive might become fearful and resentful of me as a Dominant. After punishment is administered there should be absolution – forgiveness. A process of accepting the consequences and punishment of a violation and moving forward. Once a punishment is carried out, I as a Dominant should not carry it over, nor should my submissive keep kicking himself or herself in the butt. A punishment is a sense of closure for both me and my submissive and should be embraced as such.
The mindset of my submissive that is being punished goes very deep and expansive. When my submissives are being punished, it’s because she has done something wrong. That alone can be punishment for her,knowing that she has disappointed as a submissive, but when used in conjunction with an act, an implement, or whatever other means – . The totality of the punishment remains until the Dominant is satisfied to the point of absolution. Then I and my submissive can move forward.

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The sadist

Hello and welcome, pleased to meet you I’m a sadist.

Sounds scary doesn’t it,
The word rolls off the tongue in a delectably evil way doesn’t it

I suppose if you know nothing about sadists that it can seem quite scary. Let’s face it the Marquis de Sade is one of the most well know sadists in history and from the tales that be told he could seem pretty scary.

Well let’s see…what makes me a sadist.

I suppose it is the fact that I love love love to give spankings. Not only that but I also adore giving a good flogging, then there are the whips, the paddles, a hard belt spanking, real over the knee spanking,face slaps, total breath Control… . Oh but I can’t leave out a scene where the beast is in total beast mode.Where evry stroke is felt good by my submissive.

For most when the word “sadist” is all bad,  it might well bring about the image of someone dressed all in black or even black leather with a menacing scowl on their face that looks like it could melt the paint off the walls. While that may be true in the proper setting it isn’t the case in day to day life.

I like to think I’m a good Man. With my submissive I always look after her, always letting her know my Dominant presence, but many would say I am the  perfect gentleman. I open doors for her, I hold her hand when we’re walking, when we are in a vanilla setting I do my best to make her feel her absolutly best. Most of all I make sure she is taken care of.

I do my part at work, I am a honest and are clear and concise at all times with my team. I admit when I am wrong and take criticism as an opportunity for Groth and a foucus in mind that a team always beats the individuals.
But I am always aware of my “dark” side, and I think being aware of this side makes it even easier to personaly Accept how I really am.
See I’m a sadist, not your sadist or anyone else for that matter  I don’t just walk up to  someone and start spanking them. I don’t break out a whip and start whipping some unsuspecting person into submission.While I am a sadist and I revel in letting that part of me out to play when I can that is not the sum total of who I am.

I only hurt the ones I Love , as Madonna put it ! 

You see I am not extraordinary…….

Im just a Man who knows I`m a Sadist, Gentleman, Daddy and Man.
Complicated ? No not at all
And maybe suddenly the “scary” word sadist didn`t seem scary at all !

The spanking

Spanking is a reward for both the Dominant and the submissive.
Spanking is far from just hitting, because if it was so “easy” everybody could do it.
It is far from high-tech, but its all about experience and as a Dominant controlling the scene and the submissive.
Pain is strange in a way…its a motivator as well as it is a Chemical thing.
Now im am far from a chemist or a doctor but Google always comes for the rescue !
This is what i found about the Chemical part of BDSM:
There is a neurochemical that is held responsible for this. Called “the Love Hormone” by some, the hormone/neurotransmitter oxytocin is the culprit that causes the feeling of strong bonding to take place between lovers, parents and their children, close friends, and yes, between Dominants and Submissives! Whereas other neurochemicals play a strong role in other forms of play, such as endorphins, adrenaline/enkalphines, dopamine and seratonin to name a few, the bonding effect between Dominants and submissives can be directly tied to oxytocin. The almost religious devotion of the submissive—bringing on “floating” and an intense experience of oxytocin at work—and the heady experience of “Dom-space” come about through powerful amounts of oxytocin being present in their systems.

When the chemestry is all known let me take you back to the reward it is to spank Your submissive.
Spanking is always best if proper spanking etiquette is followed:

Strikes should be focused on the lower, meatier part of the bum-cheeks and upper thighs.
Follow thru on every strike.
Slap hard enough to leave a hand imprint or mark With whip or belt.
If you are using a Whip or a belt, vary the intensity on every strike.
Use Your voice to Control the submissive.
Be calm when you spank Your submissive.
Check on Your submissive frequently, not only in aftercare !
I personally has two favoritt positions when I spank my submissive ( OTK hand spanking or  the submissive chained to a bolt in the roof for whipping)
Find Your favorite it is Your task to also make that the favorite of Your submissive.
And dont forget:
You’ve got to have the perfect amount of room to get an arc with your good spanking arm, as well as enjoy the view !

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Okey, now lets get to the fun part.
Now lets focus on some of the Tools I use for a good spanking

The Hand
The classic spanking tool, literally passed down through the generations. We’ve all got them and they’re practically made for spanking, as you can most accurately control the intensity of your blows.
A good hand spanking is bringing the submissive closer to me as it is all stripped Down.

Paddle
The humble paddle is widely available in a number of materials like wood, metal or leather to vary the sensations, and offer a much more assertive slap then the hand. Don’t start a spanking session by going straight to the paddle; build up the tension with some hand slaps before moving on to this tool.

Whips and Floggers
There are as many varieties of whips in the world as there are bums for them to be slapped across, each offering a different type of sting. The length of the whip and they type and texture of the material it’s made with all play a part in the final experience you’ll have.

The Belt
Another classic, The leather belt leaves Instant marks on Your submissive and it is important that the belt is genuin leather.
The sound of spanking With a belt is priceless and the sound gets better the more intense you strike !

The good part about spanking is that you don`t need a “scene” to spank Your submissive, the hands and the belt is always available , exactly the same as the submissive bum is alwalys avalilable……..
Hey that`s not a coincidence is it ??

 

 

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